Bring on the mania

Bring on mania, dammit!

One of the most unusual byproducts of Bipolar Disorder is the desire on the afflicted to actually desire one of the phases over another.  For those who are unaware, there are two "phases" of bipolar disorder that define the condition.  One is the depressive phase, and the other is the manic phase.  While either one can reach dangerous extremes, I find that I MUCH prefer the manic phase over the other.  When I'm in manic phase, I tend to be very up, very productive, and very energetic.  I can tell that I'm entering a manic phase right now, but it's not uncontrolled, so to speak.  I just feel it coming.  And I'm actually looking forward to it so I can get some things done in the next few days.

As I wrote yesterday, the medications have helped the period of time between severe mood swings - but they've also made me much more aware of their effects on my mind and body.  I have a lot to get done right now because I had a pretty severe depressive phase over the last two days and did pretty much nothing - so as you can imagine, clothes have piled up, dishes need to be done, I'm trying to sell my car, it needs to be cleaned out, still cleaning out and streamlining the past by throwing out unnecessary items which have moved with me over the last 30 years and all of this I can get done if I enter mania.  How sad is that?

So we'll see how the day goes, but I'm already filling up my calendar with "to-do's".