Well it hasn't been the easiest new year I've experienced, that's for sure. I hit it in a rapid-cycling phase, brought on by stresses that I created myself, due to continuing to struggle with this illness. One minute you think you're fine, the next minute you're not - and it's even possible to be in both a manic and depressive phase at the same time. Not a lot of fun. To add to that, I picked up a nice stomach bug on Sunday and it's still with me on Tuesday.
Saw my counselor today for the first time in 3 weeks and there was so much to catch up on - got a couple of good lessons and directions as always. Now if they would just stick in my mind.
I don't think those that really matter to me will ever truly understand what this is I'm going through. Either out of non-desire to deal with it or inability to accept it - and I don't know what the future will hold because of that. It's kind of sad, but it's the way the world turns.
Gonna put on the happy face for now and try to muddle through the day, pull myself out of the funk if I can, and at the very least: try to make all the right decisions, at least for today. If I can keep that in my mind on a daily basis, then I should be alright.
K
Kenny, thank you for sharing your journey from the inside out. Hopefully others will dare to look into your journey. Allen
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Thank you so much for the comment Dr. Lish. This ride has been something of a whirlwind to say the least - one I'm still spinning in and trying to tame. I hope that if nothing else, this blog can help in greater understanding of BD for some.
ReplyDeleteTake good care!