I'm going to start getting risker in my posts here

I'm going to start writing a little more riskier and about what I observe throughout the day here.  I just started reading some other blogs and one was titled:  "Dissension Amongst Protestant Theologians :- New Perspective on Paul" and I thought, damn, my writing is boring.  Why can't I come up with something like that?  I guess in all honesty the real question is Why would I?


Not knocking what anyone blogs about - it's all words coming out of our heads/asses and there will be some who are interested in what you write.  Maybe I have to make sure I'm interested myself when I write it before I can worry about someone else.  Chicken/egg sort of thing, I suppose. 


So that's all to say that soon I'll be having more interesting titles to my posts, even if the posts themselves end up being totally non-related to the subjects, hahahaha.  Gotta do something to grab attention.


I guess I could write about some of the oddities I see throughout the day at the restaurant, or my ongoing bitching about people who don't know how to or even to TIP your waiter.  I give consistently good service and have actually had people completely stiff me - it's the worst feeling in the world and I hope that karma comes around to bite these people squarely in the fat ass.  Almost as bad - having someone who just had a $50 check turn around and hand me ONE DOLLAR and say "This is for you" and act like you're really doing me some sort of huge favor.   Thanks, Ms. 300 pound lard ass - I hope you appreciate the fact that you just ran me ragged for an hour with constant requests "Can I have some honey mustard?"  "Can I have a to go box?" "Can I have a to go drink?" "Can I have some extra napkins?" and kept me from having someone seated at that table who understands that you tip a minimum of 10% to someone who BRINGS YOU SHIT.   I'll spit in your damn food next time I see you coming - hope you like that tip.   I work for - get this - $2.17 an HOUR and SURVIVE on your tips - and you got good service so don't pull that crap with me.  If you can't afford to tip your server, then don't fucking go out to eat.  Sorry, it's a sore subject with me after having it happen 3 times last week.  And please excuse my profanity - just part of today's mood.


Was that a tirade?  Maybe so but it's been on my mind and I just felt the need to get it out. LOL>  Maybe this subject should have been "Waiter tells it how it really is - a new perspective".

Today & yesterday

Well I had a sinking feeling that I was slipping into a depressed phase the last few days and today wasn't much of an improvement.  I just feel lethargic - I'm depressed because of the weight that the lithium has put on me, and even though I have plans to combat that, it's depressing all the same.  I'm the heaviest I've been since high school and it bothers the shit out of me.  Nothing fits, nothing looks good, and I just look like a big whale walking around.  It's embarrassing to me.  I don't want to be this heavy and I wonder how hard of a time I'm going to have taking this weight off of me.  But it's not just that - I'm kind of stuck in a place with my job that I'm not sure I like a whole lot,. and don't know where to get out of that either.  I want to get back to what I used to do and do well - I just wonder if there will ever be a job there again for me.   Just blah, just blah blah blah.

Life is good....

I haven't stayed true to what I had intended on this blog because well frankly, life has been good.  Not that it's a good excuse, well I guess it kinda IS a good excuse if I have to have an excuse at all.  But I haven't had any swings that have been out of control.   I have had a few down days, a few bad moods, but nothing - NOTHING - like what they were pre-med.

I'm currently on 1200 mg of Lithium, 200 mg of Lamictal, and 10 mg of Abilify a day and that seems to be the magic combination for this bipolar man to make life livable again.  I'm pretty much constantly in a good mood, happy, and adjust to stresses well.  Of course, I expose myself to these things (stresses) in small amounts, but I'm feeling the need to expand that soon.

The downside:  Being on disability and only working part time makes for some very boring days.  So, as I've put on weight with the medication, and have some life goals to reach as I'm turning 45 in 28 days, I will be starting a new blog that will be a diary of sorts for me to follow the goals as I reach for them.  It's called the "KP One Year Project" and I hope to attain several goals during the one year from September 7, 2010 to September 7, 2011.  I'm waiting a full week after my birthday of September 1 so that I can enjoy the birthday week as I typically do, and don't want to have diet restrictions going on during the celebrating.  45.  Wow, can't believe I actually got to it.

Thanks to those of you who have followed my bipolar blog.  It's been a journey back to "normal" and I thank everyone who has been so supportive.  I do intend on keeping it going,  I need to take advantage of the writing space on the days that the bads hit me - it may be just enough to keep them at bay!

Thanks,
Kenny