Today & yesterday

Well I had a sinking feeling that I was slipping into a depressed phase the last few days and today wasn't much of an improvement.  I just feel lethargic - I'm depressed because of the weight that the lithium has put on me, and even though I have plans to combat that, it's depressing all the same.  I'm the heaviest I've been since high school and it bothers the shit out of me.  Nothing fits, nothing looks good, and I just look like a big whale walking around.  It's embarrassing to me.  I don't want to be this heavy and I wonder how hard of a time I'm going to have taking this weight off of me.  But it's not just that - I'm kind of stuck in a place with my job that I'm not sure I like a whole lot,. and don't know where to get out of that either.  I want to get back to what I used to do and do well - I just wonder if there will ever be a job there again for me.   Just blah, just blah blah blah.